I’m not really sure why, but most of the times Hollywood references the Ozarks, it is not in a real positive way. If you were to judge strictly from movies, the Ozarks are synonymous with meth use like in Winter’s Bone or barefoot yokels wearing overalls like The Beverly Hillbillies. Occasionally, the Ozarks means something else, like in the Bourne movies, where world class badass Jason Bourne ends up being from Nixa Missouri. Sometimes in rare cases, like 2004’s hit Million Dollar Baby, we get a mix of the two stereotypes.
Now, before I go any further let me
just say SPOILER ALERT. The
movie has been out for nearly a decade and won 4 Oscars including Best Picture
and Best Leading Actress, so if you haven’t seen it by now it’s your fault, not
mine. On the off chance this applies to you and you haven't seen Million Dollar Baby, you can watch a 5 second version of it or just keep reading,
either way you won’t miss much.
The movie is about Maggie
Fitzgerald, a tough waitress from the Ozarks played by Hillary Swank, that goes
to LA to train as a boxer. She meets up
with the crotchety old trainer played by Clint Eastwood, who insists he doesn’t
train girls. He winds up changing his
mind, because that is what Clint Eastwood does in every movie he’s in. He comes across as some pissed off old guy
with borderline sexist or racist ideas, and then by the end of the movie we all
realize that underneath it all, he’s really a caring person…just don’t walk on
his lawn.
Clint Eastwood transforms Maggie
into an impressive physical specimen of a fighter in a single montage that even includes the
narration of Morgan Freeman. She quickly
rises up the ranks with knockout after knockout until finally landing a title
fight. Bet you didn’t see that one
coming! Her opponent is an East German
former prostitute known for being a dirty fighter. The fight begins with Maggie getting pummeled
before she delivers a Rockey-esque comeback at the end of the round. Saved by the bell, the former commie hooker
hits Maggie from behind knocking her neckfirst into a poorly placed stool and
breaking her neck. It’s really no wonder
that Clint Eastwood took to talking to chairs after watching one crack his
prize fighter’s neck like a pencil.
The break is serious and Maggie is
left paralyzed from the neck down The
negative Ozarks stereotypes surface when Maggie's hillbilly family makes the trip from Theodosia
to visit her in the hospital (after visiting Disneyland first, of course). Her brother wears a black tank top with arms
covered in tattoos and one of those obnoxious Bret Michaels hats that you can
only pull off if you were once the lead singer of Poison, otherwise you look
like an idiot from the Ozarks. Rather
than showing concern for their paralyzed relative, they only want Maggie to
sign a form transferring all of her fight winnings to them. Maggie refuses to mouth sign the form and the
family leaves.
Bedridden and unable to care for
herself, Maggie decides that she would rather die than face life in her
condition so she asked her trainer to help her commit suicide. He refuses at first but again changes his mind. He is Clint Eastwood after all and killing is
kinda his thing. So, in a tearful scene, he calmly sneaks
into her hospital room after hours and pulls out his trusty Smith & Wesson
.44 Magnum and does what he has to do. At
least that’s what I assume happened, I pretty much mentally checked out after
she broke her neck. The end.
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